Last night I lay awake — tossing and turning — my mind and heart tortured by anxiety. And what got me in such a state? Well, it’s a little embarassing to admit. It’s so stupid.
I was anxious about “stuff.” More precisely — too much stuff.
A family in our church has been selling off their belongings in preparation for going into the mission field. I get a little sick when I look around my house at all the stuff that I’ve collected. Most of it is just clutter that I don’t even really care about. But it’s so hard to know where to start sorting and what to do with it all.
Today, I pulled a chair up close to the fireplace (filled with lit candles) and tried to turn my back on the mess so I could get some writing done. I pulled out my iPod for a little mood music. After working for awhile, a favorite song popped up and I had to sit back and really listen. Charlie Peacock sang, “Monkeys at the Zoo.” These words really spoke to my anxious heart.
I have got to clean house, gotta make my bed,
Gotta clear my head,
It’s getting kinda stuffy in here, smells sort of funky too,
Like the monkeys at the zoo,
I have been whoring after things
‘Cause I wanna get everything right – that’s a big, fat lie,
No amount of green, gold or silver, the perfect body, another hot toddy,
Work for the Lord, fame and power, power and sex,
A seat at the table at the Bellamy Country Club,
Here’s the rub: Nothing will ever take the place of the peace of God.
Spirit, come flush the lies out. Spirit, come on, come on, flush the lies out.
Is it my house that needs to be cleaned out?
Or, is it my heart?
I don’t believe God really cares about my clutter. I imagine what concerns Him is that my imagined “perfect Christian life” clutters my spirit and distracts me from my calling. Like Charlie said, “it’s getting kinda stuffy in here, smells sort of funky too, like the monkeys at the zoo.”
It’s time to for me to clean house. And no vacuum, windex or “truck in your neighborhood” is going to do it for me. It’s time to throw out the junk that clutters my spirit. It’s time to flush those lies out.
What lies are cluttering your life?
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Last night I lay awake — tossing and turning — my mind and heart tortured by anxiety. And what got me in such a state? Well, it’s a little embarassing to admit. It’s so stupid.