The other night my son (9 1/2) reached his limit. You know the one… the “I’m-tired-and-grouchy-and-my-sister-is-getting-all-of-the-attention” limit. It resulted in a sudden downward spiral of behavior and mood which sent he and his sweet mom into a dangerous battle of wills.
After an hour or more of fussing/arguing/complaining he was sent to bed. REALLY early. He fussed and cried in bed for another hour until I went in to try to get him to calm down.
He tried everything he could to get me to stay. “I don’t want to be a-looooooooone,” he sobbed.
“Well,” I countered. “How about I send the cats in to keep you company?”
“But they won’t stay,” he whined, pathetically. (Remember, he’s almost 10, not 2).
I tried to lighten the mood. “I could chain their little paws…”
He burst into another convulsive sob. “But they didn’t do anything to deserve it. Not like meeeeeeeeee!”
That was the moment that melted my heart. Of course, part of me realized that I was being played, but it was still sweet. What touched me was that he actually admitted to being guilty. That is a rare occurrence for him. He always has a reason or an excuse. He can talk his way out of anything. For him to admit to his guilt, even if it was done in an overly dramatic fashion, was huge.
It’s a big step for anyone to take. Admitting our responsibility for our condition instead of playing the victim takes real courage. And agreeing that others shouldn’t be punished for our misdeeds — that’s another sign of courage. No one likes to suffer alone. Misery loves company. By admitting that it wasn’t right for the cats to be forced to share his punishment, it’s a sign that my little guy is growing up.
In the end, one of the cats did come in and stay with him for awhile (no chains were required).
Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us along to wallow in our guilt. He offers mercy and grace. If we confess and ask forgiveness, He offers it freely.
And He will not leave us alone in our troubles. He stays with us. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” [Romans 8:38-39 NIV]
He will always be at our side. No chains required.
Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing about your precious little one. It made me think about how many times I make excuses…and justify and I am NOT 10.
I love this post and the one right before it. I’m mourning a life stage, too, having all of my kids in school and two in middle school next year. And boy, do my kids know how to get my mother-guilt going. But the part about admitting our guilt, that’s so key. Thanks for all this wisdom. (I’ve been thinking about you recently, anyway, because I just finished a chapter that talked about our hike up Mt. Hermon, and for some reason ever since then your story and verse from Hebrews have been completely stuck in my head. That’s a good thing!) Blessings!
Can you see the tears in my eyes? Do you know why you ARE an author? Because you have the ability to paint people into your words. I feel like I was in the room with you and your son, living through your eyes, sensing your sarcasm (chaining the cats!:) ), feeling his confession and watching your heart melt. I experienced your experience…that’s an author!
Andrea, Amy and Terry — Wow, thanks! Your comments made my day!