Okay, I’ve never actually seen the movie Psycho, so all I know about it is that it has a terrifying shower scene. I had my own terrifying shower scene this morning. Want to hear the story? I’m sure it rivals the movie. 🙂
I had just stepped into the shower for a refreshing morning wake-up when I discovered I wasn’t alone. In the shower stall, we have one of those pressure mounted corner shelf units for holding shampoos and soaps and such. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a black critter scurry out from behind the rod on the floor.
He was very polite.
“Um, excuse me Madam, but I seem to have gotten myself in an awkward predicament. I was looking for a quick sip of water and I have now gotten myself trapped. If you could be so kind as to–“
Me: “AAAAAAGGGGHHHH! SPIDER!!!!!”
Him: Waving his legs, politely. “Um, yes, I am. But if you would just–”
Me: “SPIDER! SPIDER! SPIDER!”
Him: Taking a few hesitant steps backward, “Yes, but please, I don’t mean to frighten you, I just seem to have gotten trapped in here and I’m really not to pleased about it. I do not need a shower and I really am not fond of water. If you could just open the door–“
Me: Grabbing the shower nozzle and pointing it in his direction, “SPIDER!”
My husband dressed in a shining suit of armor and hearing my distress, pokes his head into the shower. “Where?”
Me: “In the corner, over there.” I aim the water jets at the spider and catch the arachnid square in the face.
Spider: sputtering, “I said, I don’t need a shower! I don’t like water! Help!” He scampers back behind the rod for safety.
My husband: “Well, I can’t reach him now. Just leave him, he won’t hurt anything.”
Me: whimpering. “Spider, spider, spider…” I blast the water jet at the corner shelf trying to flush him back out. Unfortunately, our water pressure is minuscule and the stream of water merely trickles down the pole where the spider remains hidden, getting MY refreshing morning wake-up shower.
Spider: whining, “Please, stop…”
Me: “Get out here so I can wash you down the drain!” The water continues to stream down the corner pole.
My husband: “Is anyone hearing ‘the itsy-bitsy spider’ in their head, or is just me?”
Me: Sighing. “Okay, you big ugly spider, stay there. But if you move, you’re going down the drain. Hear me?”
Spider: “Loud and clear. I’m never stepping one of my eight legs from behind this pole ever again.”
Me: “See that you don’t.”
Right now I think that spider is still cowering behind the pole. Maybe he’s writing out his own frightening shower scene to share with his friends. “I was trapped in this strange white room lined with slippery tiles when in stepped this terrifying, ugly, naked human armed with a water gun!” Come to think of it, his story may be more frightening than mine. Too bad he doesn’t have a blog.
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Okay, I’ve never actually seen the movie Psycho, so all I know about it is that it has a terrifying shower scene. I had my own terrifying shower scene this morning. Want to hear the story? I’m sure it rivals the movie. 🙂
TOOOO CUTE…Happy Monday!!
I’m on your side! Though I could never have finished that shower. :/
By the way, I really enjoy your site here. Your Dad sent me your way. I worked with him at PLU for 4 years and graduated the year he retired.
Thanks for the good reads.
Made me laugh right out loud. Funny thing is, I also encountered a spider in the shower this morning. It was quite small. I grabbed it and let the water wash it off my hand and down the drain. No more spider!
Great story Karen, loved it!
Suspenseful story line, great dialog and happy ending, if you’re the spider!