I was TERRIFIED when I attended my first writers conference. Speak to an agent? Are you crazy? What would I say? He’ll think I’m an idiot! A social misfit!Five years later, I’m looking forward to the release of my first novel, MISTAKEN, which comes out in July.
How a social misfit become a debut author? Only God knows. But one thing I’ve learned–when you fall on your face (even in front of an editor), you get back up.
I share these stories NOT to give you more things to worry about, but to assure you that we all make stupid mistakes. It doesn’t spell the end of your career. Brush yourself off. Put a smile on your face. Keep trying.
Here are my top 5 embarrassing conference moments.
- I whined to a fellow conferee–before discovering she was an editor. I spent a lot of time preparing for my first conference. I had my “elevator pitch” down pat (Don’t know what that is? Read this.) What I didn’t expect was to meet an editor in disguise. Well, not really, but it was on the airport shuttle–she wasn’t wearing a name tag, yet. After spending several minutes whining about my writing career to the person sitting next to me in the van, I paused to ask, “So, what do YOU write?” She smiled. “Actually, I’m an editor.” Well, I guess I can throw that polished professional image out the window.
- I made a stupid joke to an agent. People at the dinner table were chatting about why you had to show your name tag to enter the dining hall. I joked that maybe it was to keep out disgruntled writers who’d received one too many rejections. The agent hosting the table looked at me with such alarm, I’m sure she thought I was a terrorist.
- I missed my very first editor appointment. Thinking I was smart to avoid the long lines at Manuscript Retrieval, I waited until later in the day to pick up my pre-conference submissions. I felt very smug when I arrived at 4 pm and saw there was no line. Instead, there was a note from my first-choice editor: “Looks interesting–let’s meet at 1 o’clock.”
- I was late to my second agent appointment. Appointments are often scheduled during workshop times. It’s not uncommon to see people gather up their belongings and sneak out during classes. I knew I would have to do so. And then I started listening. It was a FANTASTIC workshop–plot twists with best-selling author Tricia Goyer. Half-way through I remembered my appointment and rushed out, dashed across the wide campus and arrived out of breath and nearly in tears.
- I dropped a chocolate dessert down the front of my shirt in front of two top editors. Much of the networking at conferences happens at meals. Tables are “hosted” by professionals. You get to sit around and chat about books while trying to remember not to talk with your mouth full. Try eating chocolate mousse–it has a bad tendency of slithering off the spoon and down the inside of a fashionable scoop-neck blouse.
How do you recover from these moments? You LAUGH. Go ahead, it’s good for you.
The editor in #1 claimed I was “very sweet” and reminded her of her first conference experiences.
I’ve never reminded the agent from #2 (not my agent, by the way) about the dumb joke, but I’ve spoken to her on many occasions and she doesn’t appear to be afraid of me.
With both #3 and #4, the people I was supposed to meet brushed off my faux pas. They’re human, too. In fact, the editor from #3 actually took the blame on herself. “I should have known not to schedule the meeting so soon.” With more conference appointments under my belt, I can say editors/agents seem more likely to be late to appointments than writers. Probably because other writers are making fools of themselves and pitching in the restroom. At least I’ve never done that!
And the editors in #5 either didn’t notice my spill, or at least pretended not to notice. They’re not eager to embarrass writers, either. (And they’re not immune. I once saw an editor excitedly telling a story to table of authors only to learn she had a piece of lettuce stuck to her teeth.) The funny part about the chocolate dessert moment came later when I rushed to the restroom. It was filled with writer friends nearly screaming with laughter as I cleaned the chocolate goo from my (ahem) cleavage. I guess that could be a nightmare to some, but I was too busy laughing to care.
Okay writing friends–I know you have some good stories to share. How have you embarrassed yourselves and lived to tell about it?
Tweet-worthy?
- 5 Embarrassing Conference Moments! Click to Tweet.
- Chocolate dessert down the shirt and other embarrassing conference moments. Click to Tweet.
- Conference Anxiety? If this misfit can succeed, so can you! Click to Tweet.
I met with an agent at a conference once and decided just to get her advice rather than pitch anything. Unfortunately, I’d had a rather upsetting morning that included a splitting headache, so by the time I got there I was an emotional wreck. Instead of a professional, reasonable presentation, I rambled on about how frustrated and confused and unfocused I was while fighting back tears. I’ll never forget the look of horror on her face.
As if all that wasn’t bad enough, my final act of desperation was to ask if she’d read a bit of my work. She said no, of course, and I left, deflated and certain I should give up writing altogether.
But I didn’t and my first novel is scheduled to come out this fall. Yay!
That’s awesome, Sharyn! So glad you didn’t give up. 🙂
Too funny, Karen! I have so many conference gaffes, they kind of blur together. One that stands out…casually struck up conversation with an editor after a workshop. Editor: “You look familiar. Did we meet last year?” Me: “Yes. You sent me a rejection letter.” Editor’s eyes pop. Really, Sarah? Really?
By the way, I sent this link to my Mount Hermon first-timer buddies. As I told them…Feet will gravitate toward mouths and beverages toward blouses, but God’s will prevails!
Amen! I love your story, Sarah. I caught myself at the last Books & Such retreat before I said, “Yeah, you’ve rejected me twice now” to YOUR editor. But it was actually nice, because I felt like I could chat with her like a normal person without needing to sound impressive and I enjoyed getting to know her.
I hope your buddies enjoy it. I was thinking of MH first-timers when I put it together.
I told an editor I was stalking her (just kidding, of course) and then asked for an appointment. She graciously gave me one, but I was so embarrassed. I don’t always sleep the best at writers conferences and say goofy things when I’m tired.
I have a hard time picturing you as the scary stalker type, Sherry! The combination of little sleep and a lot of nervous energy can be deadly. 🙂
At my first conference, I pitched to an editor around the dinner table in front of 8 other authors. As soon as my pitch was over, the editor got up from the table without a word and ran to the bathroom. More embarrassing for her than me, I think, but it was the other authors’ ensuing awkward silence that really had my cheeks burning. I was super-uncomfortable, so, as per usual, I felt the need to crack a joke. I think I said something like, “Well, my premise never had THAT effect on anyone before!” Not sure if that made it better or worse when the poor editor had to return to the table a few moments later. At least they have embarrassing conference moments, too. 😉
That’s funny, Lindsay! Poor editor… I think your witty quip was perfectly timed.
Karen, Thanks for sharing these moments–we’ve all had them (although I’ve never dropped a spoonful of chocolate down my shirt; but don’t ask me about the filling of a jelly donut).
When an editor and I were both standing at the toaster at Mount Hermon Conference, waiting for our bagels to finish, he asked me about my novel. Although I knew I should always be prepared, in that moment I wasn’t–hey, I was more interested in the bagel–so I stammered and stuttered. He smiled and said, “Send me a proposal if you want to.” He and I have been friends since (even though his house doesn’t publish what I write).
As has been said before–agents and editors are human.
Thanks for sharing, Richard! I wonder if editors and agents chuckle at how nervous we writers get. It must be odd to be on the other side of that fence.
Karen, these are excellent! 🙂 You are so not alone. I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing conference moments, too. I may or may not have attacked a well-known author while we waited for an elevator, gushing my admiration for her books. She was lovely. I was a hot mess. 🙂 And my most embarrassing editor moment was as a volunteer having to interrupt another editor/author meeting (long story), and then I had a meeting with the editor the next day. I made myself almost sick that the editor would remember me as the interrupter, but she ended up being incredibly sweet and completely understanding during my appointment.
Liz, I’m so glad you stopped by! You should have seen me gush over Robin Jones Gunn when I met her. I’m embarrassed to think about it, now, but I couldn’t help it.
I appreciate the official timekeepers at conferences. It’s always awkward to be waiting as an editor’s next appointment when someone is going past time. I imagine the editors feel the same way.
So sorry you had to miss 1/2 of that fantastic workshop 🙂
Hahaha! Hi Tricia!!! Don’t worry–caught the rest on the cd. 🙂 I was just thinking about that class today when I had a character take a gun down from the pegs over the door…
“Remember, if you show a gun in chapter one, it has to go off by chapter 7.” (Or something like that.) I drive my kids nuts with that rule when we’re watching movies. “Hey, did you see that______? I bet it will be important later!”
My first year at Mt Hermon, I did not know ANYTHING. I knew I wrote and there was a conference near my house. That was it. CBA. What? Pitch. What? Hosted tables. What? Make appointments? Ack! I hit the ground running and had an editor appt. YAY! I tried to explain my book with a pitch I had only just put together and failed miserably. He was kind of staring at me unsure what we were going to do with the rest of the time and I wasn’t leaving because my legs would give out. He said, “It sounds like this…” And I said,”No, it’s not like that all. Here-” and I shoved a few pages at him. He did request the full, but what a mess I was.
How far we’ve come, right Charise? Are you going to MH this year?